Wednesday, October 3, 2012

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Omaha has a huge rodeo every fall.  Our little foursome went this past weekend to see all the sights and to get a little involved as well.  This year, we entered both boys into the Stickhorse Rodeo Contest and entered Roanin in the Muttin' Bustin' (you couldn't have forgotten what that is so quickly, right?).  A great time was had by all and we went on about our lives. 
 
Monday, I found these four pictures on Roanin's desk, of which he had drawn sometime over the weekend, after the rodeo.  I approached him and asked him what each one was...
"Me roping a cow."
"This is me riding my sheep during the rodeo.  And that is all the people in the stands watching and cheering."
"This is my dad riding a wild horse in the rodeo.  And that is dirt behind him, not poop, Mom."
"This is all the kids lining up to do the sheep riding and those are all the sheep in the pen before we get on."
 
I am completely torn between the sweet bliss of a proud mommy and being scared shitless he is going to get too obsessed with this rodeo thing.  Lord help me.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Happy Tuesday

Rex loves to put on his train conductor outfit (clothes underneath are optional for people as important as conductors - didn't you know?) and run through the house with his fake cell phone yelling, "TRAIN IS ON TIME!  TICKETS!!! TICKETS, PLEASE!!!!!!!"  God, I love that kid.

Today is the kind of day in which I have about a thousand things to do....and yet I find myself sitting here writing a whole lotta nuttin'.  I am in the middle of a wallpaper removal project from hell, we are currently having new windows installed in the entire house in which I need to organize painting and endless details for, I have a counseling appointment in 1 hour and I haven't showered since Sunday night and yet, here I sit.  Coffee in hand, dog asleep on my foot. 

Things are so good.  I love our lives here in Omaha.  The weather is unbelievable outside...haven't run any sort of forced air in months.  The mums are blooming and the sun shines everyday.  I have found a good counselor and am working through some of the yuck in my brain.  It is hard, tedious work, but in the end I think it is going to be great.  He has me carrying around a rock.  You heard me - a freaking rock.  He made me go out in nature in search of a rock that signifies in weight, size and general pain-in-the-ass-iness the yuck that I carry around in my head and heart about the past.  Naturally, being the competitive overachiever that I am...I initially lugged in a boulder that I needed a dolly to be able to physically move.  He kindly suggested I try again, maybe with something a little more manageable?  And so I found one that was more accurate - heavy enough that it gets in my way every single day and I hate carrying it...but small enough that I am not ready to quite let it go.  I can, after all, still do all I need and want to do each day with it.  Tasks are harder, yes, but still manageable.  Just like my junk.  Because that is what I do.  I haul it around, despite not needing to.  I am not sure how to let it go or if I even know how.

But the physical act of hauling that rock around has struck a cord (well done, mr. headshrink) with me.  It has shown me that it could be so much easier.  If I can do the work to release the rock from my grip...find a perfect place to put it and be able to move on...my life will be easier.  Better.  More joyful.  More productive.  MORE HAPPY. 

And so that is my goal.  To do the work to release the rock.  And take my happiness to the next level.  The rockless level.

Happy Tuesday, my friends.