This little man. I can't believe he is five. More importantly, I can't believe he will be 19 in what will feel like about 3 days. They always say it goes fast, but no one translates that into what really happens. It goes at lightning speed. So fast, sometimes, I feel terrified that I am not soaking up the moments like I should be. Not taking tiny photographic images with my brain of all the special minutes and occasions that fill up each and every day. But I know this is normal, so I try to relax and enjoy it.
He tossed the training wheels this summer, and I can't help think that with them went the baby Roanin I have known this whole time-replaced with a braver, stronger and more grown up version of that little one. Crazy how the physical act of riding a bike on his own is mimicking this transition in life. He has known how to turn the pedals for quite some time. He can steer the circle of our dead end or the curve of our drive way with simple muscle memory. He has perfected the foot breaks and even the hand breaks of his new bike. But it wasn't until those training wheels were gone that we got to see the skill in all of its glory. We really got to see him ride.
And as we loosen the training wheels of parenting just a tad with him-letting him pick out his clothes for the day, trusting him outside without an adult, asking him to be responsible for several things around the house without asking, starting kindergarten, and watching him from a more distant view interact with his peers - we are beginning to see him really ride.
The tendencies I have always adored are still there. The struggles we continually face are still there too. But the overall trend is positive. It is amazing to see him wobble his way around, have to put his feet down just for a second, and eventually glide his way through.
And just like every single phase of parenting thus far...I find myself wondering how long he has actually been ready before his dumb mommy finally realized it. The day we took the training wheels off...it was at his suggestion because it had never even occurred to me that he might be ready. Within 3 minutes-he had it down. And as I watch him seamlessly accomplish more and more, I realize I might not be the teacher I thought I was in this partnership. The lessons seem to be coming from him - and I couldn't be more excited about learning.